mine

i'm moving 629 miles away from my home to Wichita, Kansas (the largest city in Kansas of about 300,000 people...in comparison to the 3rd largest city in the US: Houston at 2.5 million people, give or take a few)
i'll be the new Resident Manager of Green Hall AND Director of the Falcon Leadership Scholarship Program at Friends University.
i'll be living on campus in my own apartment, getting paid salary and doing exactly what i love doing: giving all of me to relationships.
i'm scared.

my highschool girls bible study/small group that i lead discussed what it means to have the kingdom of God in our life. what would their school look if God reigned over it? what would our home look like? what would it look like driving around Houston if Houston was in the Kingdom of God? hard question because the Kingdom of God is where the Lord's will is. 3 of my friends discussed what it means to be a Christian in this time, place and especially America. what does it mean? that you mentally understand who Jesus is and emotionally 'commit' to Christ at some time? hardly.

there was a huge area of my life that i've held onto, kept in control of, and everytime i prayed about guidance and discernment, my head spun and got extremely sick knowing that what i wanted was not what i was asking for. so i continually said yes to me and no to the Kingdom of God. the instant this area of my life was over, i knew that i had given it to the King, allowing that part of my life (once again, and like i've always wanted) to be ruled by the Alpha. my dreams, my wants and desires, my happiness all came back to me at the immediate time of that large change. and it was because i had made the decision to not allow God to be the King of that area of my life.

now i'm moving. in 14 days actually. this probably wouldn't have happened if i didn't make that change. i probably wouldnt have the incredible, life strengthing, developing and progressive conversations and relationships that i've had over the past 3 weeks if i hadn't made that change. i would have a set future, one that i never wanted.
and now: i want simplicity.

i was challenged in words and challenged by other's actions on living simply. as i get ready to pack up and move i've got some things to think about.

what does it mean when i say it's 'mine'. all the stuff i'm taking with me...is it mine? is it mine when i decide it has no worth and give it away to someone else? is it sentimental or material value that keeps me holding on so tightly?

leslie gave me her perfume and table. i'm extremely excited. and thankful. and what's mine is yours